Can't sleep...

When I came home from work this evening, the kids were with their other mom. I had my apartment all to myself.

I ate a small bite and began to doze on the sofa. Excited by the possibility of an insane amount of sleep, I washed my face and brushed my teeth and snuggled under the covers.

In no time at all, the thoughts began to flood my mind--things left undone, things left to do, inadequacies in my mothering, my homeschooling, a laundry list of things I still need from the house in order to be 'completely' moved out and moved in--a general panic had ensued.

This is not unusual for me--something about closing my eyes sometimes, it's all I need to flip the switch and tear myself apart.

So I surrendered and got out of bed to write. I have missed the small windows of reflection throughout my day that I used to enjoy. True--everyday I'm finding that I can do more and more than I ever imagined while working full-time, so I feel certain that I will find time for this, my creative soul, but until then I keep everything inside in pieces and it surfaces when I close my eyes on a night that I stood to sleep longer than five hours.