Before breakfast

No one should have had this much activity before 10:00 in the morning--I am so tight with stress and need space to unwind.

Welcome to that space.

Already, I had a late night indulging in my weakness: L-Word on DVD. I must have watched 8 episodes and could have watched more but I was on call so I rationed my intake and made myself go to sleep at near 3:00 in the morning.

Then, at 5:00, I was paged--didn't have to leave until 8:00 when I received the final call but the hours in between were filled with interrupted sleep and more pages and phone calls as the coordination happened.

From the center, I came home to change clothes as I had a yoga class to teach at 10:00--fortunately, not one student came. Don't get me wrong--I LOVE teaching yoga, it's my heart. But this morning, I needed down time and space and my children in my orbit.

Here I sit, having coffee, writing, news in the background and breakfast muffins and vegetarian sausage toasting--children in my orbit.

Bliss.

The kids and I are going to play a game in a few minutes--I just need space to unwind for a bit and to allow the thoughts to skitter through my mind.

It feels good to think, to let the mind out of her box to run wild with no worries, no limits, no duties--to unfold.

That is all I ask for anymore, space to unfold--I've started something big and I want the fortitude to see it through, to set the tone and 'be'.

I have felt this urgency to couple myself to another lately--it's SO my modus operandi. Well, here is this wonderful opportunity to work on me, to focus on me and to be with me. I know I should and on some level I want to--I missed the whole dating scene and while dating is overrated, I do welcome the chance to be more discerning and more intentional in my choices from here.

I'm so fucking impatient--I want the end result already. Breathe Tina. Unfold. Moment by moment.