Thoughts from the journey...

I'm writing past the guilt tonight, writing through the angst, the call of me as mom--at least, the call of me as mom as I interpret it to be.

I am my biggest critic, my worst enemy, my highest peak and my toughest challenge. But as I write that, can that be half bad?

Today has been a great day--an emotional day but totally fulfilling, as if I touched every corner of my internal landscape.

I am SO in search of something right now--open to the moments as they come to me, sitting back, taking it in...doing well to ride the middle space--not tipping too far to either extreme of crushing sadness or intoxicating elation.

It's all good.

I'll be there again--next week perhaps, or in a minute. My passion overtakes me from time to time...most of the time...usually.

But here...in this time, for this period...I ride the middle--watching for signs, listening for cues, following clues...open. I remain open.

Good things are coming.

Ahh...

Anyway, it's 11:20 PM. I just finished a movie that I was hoping to be my next "Feast of Love". Sometimes, rarely, a movie speaks to me--speaks into a corner of my inside that waits for this sort of whisper. This was "Feast of Love" for me and tonight, I thought it might be "My Blueberry Nights".

No suck luck, no such chance.

It was good--interesting characters but very little pull in. I was so not impressed with Nora Jones as an actress. Like, was her musical contribution conditional? Was she doled a role for trade?

She's alright but alright does not an actress make.

Perhaps I expected too much--that's a lot of pressure for a movie to have to speak to the corners of one's insides.

That's a funny sentence.

'Night