How She Does that Thing She Does and Why I Let Her

It all started with the table needing to be wiped off or an unrinsed dish in the sink or some combination of both. Who knows now--see how important this incident was? I've forgotten the genesis yet the effects will linger around us, shaping who we are to each other.

Nevertheless, my strong-willed, independent, lovely daughter was standing at the sink rinsing her dish. I was beside her loudly asserting that her unrinsed dish is not my fault--she stays turned away from me. Augh! She knows what this does to me! I take her arm and turn her to face me, recognizing that my grip is tightening as I yell at her to look at me when I speak. Daggers. Her eyes are hard and her lips are pinched together. She is climbing on my shit list.

The next series of events are irrelevant but needless to say, our hostility toward each other is mounting. I act unreasonable, she acts unreasonable--with a clear cut difference between us. I am the adult.

My daughter is teaching me how to have patience in the face of adversity, she's teaching me to pause in the split second moment I have before I cross a line I cannot step back over. She's teaching me peace...teaching me to be the adult. One day, hopefully soon, I will pass the test of my child.