The gnawing pain of reflection...

And why would it be so? Reflection should bring joy and happiness, fond thoughts, stories woven from the recalled fragments yet, this evening, when I piddled through photo albums, journals of my childrens' young lives and old birthday cards, I felt sad. It was a gnawing ache in what I suppose to be my heart--the emotion center of my being, not the physical organ.

I longed to do over, to hold longer, to kiss more and hug tighter, to listen better, to memorize with better accuracy...I longed to have been more in the moment.

I am a hostage of time, a victim of haste and my memories are the causalities of a haphazard existence.

I cannot sacrifice another day, another moment--I could be down to minutes yet I move through the hours of my life like a grocery list.