Words that resonate with me...here

I am a total nerd in the sense that I love words...love, love, love them. I get excited when I find a word, a single word, that expresses a full idea or state of being.

So here I am in this afternoon of space cleaning, singing at the top of my lungs to Air Supply, eating a celery stick but still managing the melody and fantasizing about a room of my own, a space of my own--here I am distilling my experience to a few words.

And now, without further ado, because I know you're hanging, words that speak to where I am.

Authenticity
The state of being genuine.

To me, here, this is what I'm reaching toward. I have spent quite some time in a situation that did not speak to my soul or move me the way I need to be moved. I am who I am and I SO love the person I unfold into throughout my existence when I'm open to receive and when I'm living in alignment with my essence.

I can no longer deny myself my greatest happiness.

Visceral
Instinctive, moving forward under the spell of instinct over intellect.

Heart over mind--I'm throwing caution to the wind in so many respects. Don't get me wrong--the fear is palpable but I move through it and will not cower from any chance of joy, whether joy comes in new love, new starts, new paths, new hopes, newly found needs, newly claimed needs--I am the orchestrator of my life and I'm much too passionate to be ever led by my intellect. This does not mean I am dispelling reason and good sense but I won't hold back. I'm in and I'm open and I'm exposed.

Ephemeral
Passing; lasting a very short time.

This unknown that I am approaching--it is passing. Each moment is, whether viewed as negative or positive or happy or sad. These moments are passing. I will not always be afraid--clarity will enter my life in the form of an opportunity and the fear will pass.

I ride the wave because I know it is just that--a wave. I will rise and I will fall and I will take something from each.

Viveka
The process in yoga by which an individual aims to separate the real from the unreal and to unite the soul with the Reality underlying the universe. Yes. Reality with a capital "R".

Viveka literally means separating out or discernment and the individual, in this case, me, I make it my intention to seek out the realness as presented to me versus distracting myself with the unreal, being the perceptions I have, the preconceptions or fears. Because in Reality, I am handed moments that in themselves are neither good nor bad yet it is my perception that colors the experience, labeling it either good or bad, happy or sad.

"Reality is relentless. It follows behind every denial, every avoidance, until it is embraced with open arms."--Amrit Desai

This is my one-day daughter's name--I hereby name her before her birth, Viveka. May she always abide in reality.

But as I write that, I think, perhaps I've just come into my name. It so speaks to me and symbolizes a personal claiming of my whole self--taking me on for me. Giving birth to me...again.

Namaste'