Non-Custodial Means Keeping Your Mouth Shut

This is a story I received via email zine this morning. I was moved to tears, my thoughts follow the link.

http://www.literarymama.com/columns/faces/archives/2007/07/noncustodial_me.html

Never in my lifetime will I understand the soul-crushing experience of the author. I learned later in my day that it took her 10 years to be able to write about her experience. She is now one of the bravest women I know.

Her children were (figuratively) stolen from her by her ex-husband and the system that failed to nurture the bond between this mother and her children.

From what I read, I am relieved that she was able to leave and separate herself from her husband. Unfortunately, in her case, that meant leaving her children behind as well.

There are no judgments here--I commend her for drawing a line in a world that does not encourage women to draw their own line, especially mothers. I commend her for taking a stand and for loving herself.

This is a must read in order to expand our notions of motherhood and the mothering experience--it's not all diaper pins and baby powder, not all tender moments and late night feedings, not all bedtime stories and divisions of labor, it is not even all rites of passage and graduations--it is raw--it is pain--it is torment--it is difficult choices--it is a bondage of the heart.